Yesterdays adventure had me in the emergency room for 3 1/2 hours and luckily I narrowly pulled through alright. I will type you a copy of Doctor Cynthia Asbjornsen’s , D.O. . instructions to me. Word for Word
SPECIAL INFORMATION
NOTHING SMALLER THEN YOUR ELBOW IN YOUR
EAR. USE MINERAL OIL AS NEEDED 1 TO 2 TIMES
A DAY FOR YOUR ITCHY EAR.
THIS INFORMATION IS ABOUT YOUR DIAGNOSIS
FOREIGN BODY-EAR
Today we removed the object that was stuck in your
Ear. The object may have injured the tissues in the ear.
That makes infection more likely.
I have for the last 20 years or so used the eraser end of a pencil in my ear to relieve itching, my big mistake was using one of Sandra’s cutesie - artsie pencils. Sure enough I heard a snap and when I pulled out the pencil, the eraser decided it liked my ear canal better. I started off my conversation with Sandra along the following lines. I need to tell you something and I don’t want to hear a word about it, I told her what happened. Response was as follows.
Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
The pencils I ordinarily use are a good grade of American pencil and I forgot that Sandra’s cheap pencils were foreign made. I made her look inside my ear to see if she could remove the foreign pencil eraser. I then realized that all the aggravation that I have given that good woman might come back to haunt me. Exit left, onward ho to the Webber hospital. I bravely drove myself there not really wanting to hear “Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear” again.
The Receptionist took my information and then said. Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
While I was there Sandy’s Granddaughter Shelby who volunteers at the hospital was there and came over to see me. I told her what happened, Guess what she said. Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Next was to the admissions nurse who took my blood pressure after telling me, Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear. My blood pressure was dangerously high at that point.
Sandra & her daughter Hannah came to the hospital to see if I was OK and Hannah asked Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Next was the Aid who took me into the cubicle where I was to wait for the doctor. She was nice enough until she asked Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear?
Finally the Doctor came in, a lovely woman who is 4 months pregnant. Great sense of humor great bedside and a Whiz at foreign object removal. I know what you’re thinking and yes she asked Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Well I finally had heard the last quip about the foreign object. I went to the discharge section to sign out and the lovely young lady said!!!!!!!! Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
I’m a reasonably intelligent fellow at times, some times less than others. But I’ve got it figured out after all the people pounding it into my head. Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
I promise never ever, ever to use a foreign pencil eraser in my ear again, only American made pencils.
The author of this letter may have taken a little artistic license with this letter. I will say it's at least 99% accurate.
I probably won’t be looking at this from the humorous side when I get the bill and so help me if the following is on the bill I will go ballistic!!!!!!
Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to put a foreign object in your ear.
Jerry
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