I've been happily married for ten years now, but being a full time musician has it's "hurdles". There's beer, booze, drugs and girls. And plenty to go around. How do you guys stay away from that stuff and behave like good boys?

I've always stayed faithful and never touched anything heavier than a shot of JD. But I must admit it is getting harder and harder to resist the temptations - and oh my god what great temptations they are... we are talking 9s and 10s here... even some 12s. I would never pulled that kind of girls if I weren't a piano playing mad man. But I just keep slapping myself over my wrist and telling myself I have a wife, kids, and responsibilities, they count on me, and I cannot let them down. But it is hard sometimes - for instance tonight, during my gig this smoking hot girl - mid 20s - asked me to join her in her room at the hotel I'm playing - and she would show me what the AC/DC song "You shook me all night long" is all about... Am I crazy for turning her and her peers down?

Any tips on how to keep on staying true to the wifey at home?

DocZ

Doc,
When not busy satisfying the needs of your wife, family, and work,
simply keep yourself occupied here on Synthzone.
No need for booze or drugs here because
it can often already feel that way when sober here.
I'm not currently married.

As Clint Eastwood once said "A man's go to know his limitations." At least I think that's what he said.

Tempting--yes. But other than my wife there's someone else I have to live with--ME! I've been getting those same invitations for most of my adult life, and every time I get one I just smile and continue singing and playing. At the end of the night, the paycheck comes, I'm packed up and in the car headed home to the person that really counts.

It was nearly 50 years ago when we exchanged vows. We've had our ups and downs, but through it all we've managed to stay together. We both made a commitment back in 1962, one that we both have lived by.

Good Luck,

Gary

Every time this happens just think of taking all your pay and giving it to your wife for alimony & child support for a very long time after your divorced and some then other guy is sleeping in your old bed with her too..while you have nothing and breaking your kids hearts beyond belief..... wake up fast how old are you?

Very good points made so far!

Do you know what legengary saxophonist John Coltrane would do during breaks (at least after he broke his drug addiction) He practiced!
Miles Davis said when Trane was on stage blowing, even if the most beautiful naked lady came by, Trane would not even notice. He was all about the music! Women are attracted to skillful talented men. I'm sure Trane had all kinds of women after him. But by all accounts he was completely focussed on the music and improving himself both spiritually and musically.

As Gary said, you have to live with yourself. Say you were on your death bed. Would rather go knowing that you gave your all to your Family, and art or that you just wasted your talent on cheap,shallow, empty, meaningless pursuits? The choice is yours.

"5 Minutes of Pleasure.......A LIFETIME OF MISERY"

I turn 33 this summer. A lot of wise words here guys. Thank you for that. I guess I only needed to share my dilemmas with someone who understands. My friends doesn't get it - but you guys do.

I guess my problem is that I will always have this sense of wonder. "What would it be like?" "Why do I always have to be a good boy, why can't I be bad - for just one moment?" "No one would have to know right?"

But deep inside I know that the fantasy, or anticipation probably surpass the actual experience. It is like Christmas you know, after the presents are all opened, all the magic is gone.

I'm going to keep staying strong, sober and true - but it's that darn curiosity that keeps nagging like a devil on my shoulder. I wish there was a pill for that sometimes.

But you are all right, it is what truly matters in life that counts, and divorce is a bitch...

DocZ

Think of YOUR VOWS you both took....."To Death Do Us Part"

No one twisted your arm to get married...it was YOUR choice.

Bring your wife on your gigs also that will help.

Well you actually do know what it would be like ... simply nothing more than sexual pleasure that is over briefly. But as for anyone not knowing then there is no guarantee of that .... just ask Tiger Woods .... and there is an endless list of people ( including non celebrities ) who figured no-one would know ... but they were wrong and it tore their lives apart.

Hi,

There is NOTHING more fulfilling in this life than to be truly loved and appreciated by someone. Something to treasure for the rest of one's life.

Bet you a few minutes of fun with one of those seemingly "stunning" ladies will not yield the same and more than likely cause you to loose what you now have.

I always reason, if those beautifull ladies are willing to risk it all to do it for me, then once they're mine they'll most probably do it for someone else also. Very few things hurt like an unfaithful partner - so I steer clear of these.

Henni

Well Docz,
Let me put you at rest. There will always be a battle between right and wrong and you get to choose which one you pay in to.
Many years ago I was in the place you are now and I took the step, it ended up in a divorce and the price I paid was beyond what I ever imagined. Let me list them:

1-It cost me more than half of the money I had.

2-I hurt a good wife who did not deserve what I did.

3-My oldest son turned from me. The first child is always so special, I lost that relationship.

4-My wife who was so faithful and never strayed invited a man to live with her and my 4 children, the man and my ex-wife slept together in my bed/in my home.

5-I married the girl I was cheating with, the precious holiday I shared with my own family were no longer. I spent my holidays with my new family which I never felt part of.

6-I remember walking out my front door of my home and having a good feeling about all that I had done to that home. The added room, the planted bushes, and the things I had made. The home I moved into which was twice the size never gave me that feeling, I now lived in a home with 14 rooms 5 bathrooms that felt empty.

Today I am happily married/committed and the thought of getting involved is gone. I am a marriage counselor in my church and I spend my time trying to help people put values back into their marriage.
Would I be unfaithful to my wife of 15 years? No never, and not just because I don’t want to hurt her, I would not get involved because I would never want to do that to myself again. My first wife and children and parents were hurt by what I had done but none received the nightmare I gave myself.
On the job when a woman offers me the opportunity I smile think, "I would never do that to myself again".
So John what is the worst decision you have made in your life? To give in to a brief moment of what I viewed as pleasure and excitement; God what a price to pay.
John C.

I've always told my wife she never had to worry about me being faithful. Not because of her, but because of me. As much as she would have a right to hate me if I cheated, I would hate me more. I made that promise and vowed to be faithful to her only. If I broke that promise, I would let me down and no temptation is enough for me to bring that disappointment on to myself.

I actually "get off" (pun intended) knowing that through thick and thin, I've never strayed.

It's probably the easiest part of being married for me.

If a person is having serious thoughts about cheating on their partner, there's probably some issue(s) that need addressed in the marriage.

Good luck

I keep it simple.

How would I feel if my partner cheated on me?

Do onto others, as you would have them do onto you.

Ian

Ian ... you got to my reply before I did ... good answer ...

Another good answer - watch the movie "Fatal Attraction"
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/

I started with our band in NY when we were in high school ... As we eventually all got married our wives became close friends as well ... We became such close friends that when it came to extra marital sex, we would be ashamed of letting our friends down as much as as our wives ... we would all 'protect' each other from the advances of other women ... that made it easier ...

But Ian's answer is still the best - how you YOU feel if your wife cheated on YOU ???

I'm one who chased everything walking for years. One airline that overnighted flight attendants at a hotel I played had a photo of me in the flight ready room with the notation: "watch out for this guy in Lexington".

At the time, I thought it was funny, and it actually got me a lot more "action".

Now, I'm very sorry for my actions and the people I hurt.

Wish I had been as strong as some of the others here.

Believe me, acting like I did is absolutely the wrong way to go.


Russ

Actually there is a pill for that, it is called Viagra.

Sorry, couldn't resist.